Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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