OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
