i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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