Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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