How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
