What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
