All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
