Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just want nice things and good sex
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
