new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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