belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
