the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
