She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize