god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
