Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize