Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
