But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize