sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
