you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is my gift to your gina
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
