so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
