Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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