Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
