Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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