We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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