Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
