I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
