I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
