This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
