We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
