Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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