I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We need to get me chipped asap
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
