I hate your face
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
