can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
