Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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