you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
