will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
