Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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