If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize