he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dear god my vagina.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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