I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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