Porn is love you can see.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
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