did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
