I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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