sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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