Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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