So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
