I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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