you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Life is so much better after having sex.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
