just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
