So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
