whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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