Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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