Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
