Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
