just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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