Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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