how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my shit smells like andre
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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