her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
