Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize