So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
