Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
